Wednesday, September 3, 2008

So who is really the fool...

I have come to realize that it takes a strong stir of emotion to motivate me to share myself with the world. I just really am very confused at how my life ended up like twilight. Was the book supposed to be some type of foreshadow on what was awaiting me? Am I to have hurt another as I was hurt with no repercussion? Most times I think I'll be better off alone, unmarried with three cats. Silly isn't it, but very true to me.


With him I can grasp the stars even on the most cloudy of nights
The sun, the moon, the sky, our playground
Where we happily dream and although cliche everything is right

With him I climb the tree of life, of substance, of meaning
Every branch entangling us further
Bobbing and weaving our destinies creating our being

With him I feel myself falling being taken under by his love spell
A bit of cinnamon, a dash of cumin maybe some spice
Let it alone, give it some thought, he says, only time will tell

With him this life will not be in vain
If only to drown in his sweet aroma
And be taken under by its electrifying effects on the brain

With him up leads to down as left leads to right but right seemingly
leads to nowhere and everywhere at the same time
So here we are alone together locked and focused on each others stare

With him I'm praying to pry free from such a lustrous hold that even satan himself cannot stand
something this powerful has to be God-ordained
Something greater than the people involved could even fathom let alone understand

Is this what draws me to him, the God I see?
He who is proud and strong yet humble
If not God the most high power what could it be?

So you would think well if he is all that than why not love him, be with him, give him the essence of your being.

And my answer would be, because I have once before and I am afraid of making the same mistakes, I'm afraid of allowing this love again. When the sun is shinning of course its like a day in Honolulu but what about when it rains? This is what Ive had to think about and ponder.

And to you Jacob I apologize I know this may not be the easiest to take but I LOVE MY Edward. I love him with my life with the core of my being, sorry for not being able to make a better ending...

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