Ehh, ever been really looking forward to something, like one of those secret little joys that you hold onto in the mist of everything else thats going on. Yea it was like that. I never expected it in a million years, no like seriously. I think my heart is a little more broken. It may not be that crucial in the grand scale of life, but its something that means a great deal to me, something that I had hoped to share. It hurts but I've decided Im not gonna cry, there are plenty of other things to cry about.