Gahhh

Oh NO my baby is coming in 8 days, Im sooooo excited, yay SAMIYA!!!! LOL

I managed a smile...

I rarely come on blogger anymore, but I was about to write this very sad woe is me blog until I read Dori t's and she made me laugh thus making me feel better without even knowing it. Am I still a little upset by the whole ordeal? YES. But am I sad? No not really I actually think Ill be okay for tonight, each time you screw me over, it gets a little easier. Each time you shit on my day by attempting to call or text me with your bs, I get a little stronger. Ohhhhh it hurts like hell now, but im anticipating the beauty that comes after the pain. Samiya is one of the most beautiful things I could have ever asked for (or not asked for, lol) in life and Im so grateful, its cause of her that I get through each day. I just hope that you realize and understand just how much she is worth it, and how blessed you are to even be connected to her, cause if it was up to me... but its not, so I'll leave God to be the judge.

I'm bout to go get my mommy some juice, kick my feet up and call it a night. Transformers 2 was great and I actually had a pretty good day, thanks stephen and nite blogger :)

I have bloggers block... :/

Hurt but not dying

This is the last time I will cry over this and over you, now I know what I must do for me, it may hurt like hell but in a couple of years Ill be looking back and laughing at this. Me and my baby, me and Samiya, God put her here for a reason, she is my charge and I will take care of her to the best of my ability. I dont want you here, we dont want you. How can you miss what you never had?

Everything I do is going to be wrong or its not going to be good enough for you... Now I see where I get it from.

Passing thought

Not to get all serious and anything but...

I finally figured out what is worse then being pregnant and the father of the child is unsupportive, absent, and edging on worthless, being married to that man...

The Worst Mistake : (

I made the biggest mistake of my pregnant life last night...

So I got home really late and exhausted after a day full of activities, I went to the WIC office, I got some milk yall! I went to my aunts job, mind you she works at an elementary school with little bad Pre-k through 6th graders, i dont have to explain the horrors in that, and I also went to a 6 o'clock movie, which is kinda late for me, I saw angels and demons it was pretty good.

But anyway before I actually got home, I was sitting at the Deanwood metro station waiting for the bus to come. And this guy walks by and basically tries to holla at me, the convo went something like this


"How you doin?" the boy asks continuing to walk past me.

"Hi, how are you?" I greet him back politely thinking thats the end of that.

"Can I call you sometimes?" he asks from about 5 feet away

"Umm, No I'm afraid not." I respond

"Why not?" he asks

I gently put my hand on my belly and say "Well things are kind of complicated right now"

"It aint no problem with me" the boy replies

I begin to chuckle astonished by the fact he doesnt mind that Im beyond noticeably preggers.

"You got a boyfriend, you still with yo baby daddy?" he asks

"No" I reply, an obvious grin on my face.

"Oh shit" the boys says as he proceeds to run back and sit next to me

I was truly amazed by the fact that he didnt care that I was pregnant, and even implied that he would take care of the baby and I. One great thing about being pregnant is that the boys will still try to holla but once they get a confirmation that you are indeed pregnant they back off. Dusty DC boys always have a motive so I begin to ask him questions about what he does. Reg flag one, he cannot give me an honest answer about his job description, he's a drug dealer. Red flag two, I told him I was in college and he immediately became disinterested. Red flag three, he didnt even like my quirky and somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, it was way over his head. So he walked away simply dumb founded, he probably thought I was just some hood rat that got knocked up, oh how wrong he was, lol.

Sooooo, the bus finally comes and I get home. Its hot as hell in the house, I mean the thermostat is reading 81 degrees inside the house! I cannot escape the heat so ma tells me to turn on the air and close all the windows. The coolest place in the house is the second room but there is nowhere to sleep in there, so I got some blankets and decided to sleep on the floor. LOL stupid me. I woke up in the middle of the night in soooo much pain, my back was on fire, I could barely stand up. I picked up my blanket and got in the bed with ma.

I will never ever do that again... my body is still sore : (