Thursday, August 11, 2016

Twenty Great?

Hello blogworld,

I needed a more in depth medium to get some things off my chest. I will be 28 in just under 3.5 hours. I have a 2 kids, an almost husband and a career that seems to be going, but not nearly quick enough for my liking. I know this sounds depressing to some and like a dream for others. You know when you ask most people how they feel when they turn another year older, they almost always say they feel the same, but I feel different. 

I feel older, I feel wiser, I feel more confident than I've ever been in my entire life and with all this new found wisdom comes making proper decisions. Today I chose to sacrifice a bit of my own happiness for the greater good of my family. So 28 is for loving yourself fully and truly, 28 is also for sacrifice. 20, 23, and even  26 year old me would not have been equipped to make the hard decision. 

Now in no way am I saying I did so gracefully. Mentally, I kicked and screamed, outwardly I cried and sulked. But I am determined to press through this in a healthy way that doesn't cause me to regress emotionally. Oftentimes we think that burying a situation, hiding our emotions makes us more competent in dealing with struggle. This is completely false. I almost died attempting to bottle up stress and negative emotions. It's okay to be mad, it's okay to sulk, it's perfectly normal to grieve the loss of things dear to you. 

Today I am grieving and that is okay. 

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