Had a dream last night that I was back at TSU with nowhere to live so I tried to get housing and sneak baby with me... terrible

Fussy Baby, Foolish Mommy

Samiya has been pretty fussy for the last couple of days and Ive become a walking zombie because of it. I'm physically and mentally exhausted and it didnt help that we hung out for the last two days. I was also beginning to wonder if its because I was so sad during my pregnancy. I looked online and tried to find more information and stumbled upon a website that promised 5 secrets of how to care for your fussy baby. It seemed legit and as I kept reading they never tell you what the secrets are, they only say that it works. So after all that it turns out that it costs $4.95 and you can buy the ebook instantly.

Guess what the secrets were

1)Swaddle baby

2) Lay baby on side or stomach

3) Shushing Sounds

4) Rocking baby

5) Sucking (pacifier)

So I just paid $4.95 for them to tell me some shish I already knew.... so blown. In real life I would have never even considered buying it but since it was for Sami and it was only $4.95 I said why not. Lol, Im a sucka for my baby. And on top on that she is still crying and I didnt even get my audio sounds!

Waiting...

Sorry blogger Im waiting for the words to return, the phrases should form themselves, it shouldnt be forced ya know. I'm going through an event overload, dont know where to start and probably would never finish, just know that life has been entirely EPIC. Yea thats the perfect word, I guess I'll be able to tell my tale when I finally reach Ithaca.

Gahhh

Oh NO my baby is coming in 8 days, Im sooooo excited, yay SAMIYA!!!! LOL

I managed a smile...

I rarely come on blogger anymore, but I was about to write this very sad woe is me blog until I read Dori t's and she made me laugh thus making me feel better without even knowing it. Am I still a little upset by the whole ordeal? YES. But am I sad? No not really I actually think Ill be okay for tonight, each time you screw me over, it gets a little easier. Each time you shit on my day by attempting to call or text me with your bs, I get a little stronger. Ohhhhh it hurts like hell now, but im anticipating the beauty that comes after the pain. Samiya is one of the most beautiful things I could have ever asked for (or not asked for, lol) in life and Im so grateful, its cause of her that I get through each day. I just hope that you realize and understand just how much she is worth it, and how blessed you are to even be connected to her, cause if it was up to me... but its not, so I'll leave God to be the judge.

I'm bout to go get my mommy some juice, kick my feet up and call it a night. Transformers 2 was great and I actually had a pretty good day, thanks stephen and nite blogger :)

I have bloggers block... :/

Hurt but not dying

This is the last time I will cry over this and over you, now I know what I must do for me, it may hurt like hell but in a couple of years Ill be looking back and laughing at this. Me and my baby, me and Samiya, God put her here for a reason, she is my charge and I will take care of her to the best of my ability. I dont want you here, we dont want you. How can you miss what you never had?